"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
— Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934
That new Hyperbole and a half. Wow.
Ok, so I know what not to say to someone suffering from depression. What should I say? How can one be supportuve without being dismissive or condecending?
Be there. Check in on me. Reach out if you haven’t heard from me for some time.
The thing about depression is that it tends to be a very isolating experience. You lose the energy and desire to be around other people, but being alone actually makes you more depressed/prolongs depressive spells. So force yourself on me, if need be. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate—a text, e-mail or phone call is enough. Asking me out for a low-key get-together (e.g. coffee or lunch or even just a trip to the grocery store) is enough. Showing that you’re there is enough.
(Source: jenfeathers)
"When women don’t have [female] friends, I’m afraid of them … I grew up around women, I believe that we can teach each other so much. I’m always thinking about how unselfish we are and the things we need to hear and how much pressure there is being a woman."
— Beyonce
This is a bridge in Paris. You hang locks on it with the name of you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/best-friend, then throw the key into the river. Even though the relationships may end, you can’t remove the lock. It stays there forever, as relevance to someone once a part of your life.
I’d still like to put my friends/hermanos on this bridge.
There’s a bridge in Venice that also has locks hanging all over it. It’s a nice custom. The sweetness of the moment was kinda ruined for me because, as I was admiring the locks glinting in the sun, I noticed a GIANT RAT swimming in the canal below. It was almost the size of a badger.
Rats: nature’s trolls.
(Source: skyethekitty, via thelefthandedwifeinhiding)
Nicolas Kysak, writing on his personal blog Man with Zen, details a smart plan for dealing with your chronically late friends that largely involves ignoring them. Here are the basics steps:
- Be on time and turn off your cellphone (or put it in airplane mode) as soon as you arrive.
- Set a timer for 15 minutes and relax.
- If your friend doesn’t show up after 15 minutes, turn your phone back on and leave.
Eventually your friend is going to give you a call wondering where you are, as they’re late and you’re no longer there waiting for them. At this point you’re going to need to explain what you did and why you did it. From now on, if they want to spend time with you they need to make a concerted effort to be timely because you will not be answering their calls to hear their excuses. Yes, this is harsh but you’re enabling the behavior when you allow it. You have to be willing to say no.
I’m sure this would be highly effective in that your chronically late friends will end up dumping you for being a passive-aggressive ass. If timeliness is the most important thing about friendship to you, then go ahead and do this. If it’s not, then ovary up and talk to them directly.
As a recovering chronically late person myself, I can assure you that chronically late people do not enjoy being chronically late, are not late on purpose, and do stress out about upsetting and disappointing other people.
What friends are for
