1. 
Mr. History
“Black people were enslaved like a  million years ago. They’ve had enough time to  get their act together,  but they’re still whining about their problems. I don’t want to hear  about transgenerational wealth gaps and discriminatory hiring practices!  Their problem is that they’re lazy! Case closed!”
Ms. Kumbayah
“We  need to recognize that everyone is just the exact same on the inside.  Why do we bother using labels like
“black”
and
“white”
anyway? Even  though the way society treats people falls along racial lines to the  detriment of some and benefit of others, we should ignore that! Aren’t  we all just members of the human race?”
Mr. Hear No Evil
“It’s  people like you that are the real racists! Most people don’t think  twice about someone else’s race! Talking about race is what makes racism  happen, not entrenched ideas that won’t change unless they’re  discussed!”
Ms. Myopia
“I’m a black  person, and I haven’t ever felt mistreated because of it. Therefore,  nobody else has any business complaining about racism – I’m living proof  that it doesn’t exist!”
 
Mr. Funk & Wagnalls
“Here  is the dictionary definition of racism. You can see right here that it  describes only one small subset of behaviour. You have no business  advocating that the definition of a word change to fit a changed  environment of racist behaviour, even if it still describes the old  racism. You must adhere to this one definition always!”
Ms. Minimizer
“Sure,  racism used to be a big problem, but there’s lots of black people in  prominent positions these days. Can’t we stop talking about racism like  it’s still a big issue? The President is black, and clearly nobody has  any problem with that! Don’t we have more important things to talk  about?”
Mr. Liberal White Guilt
“White  people are the worst! You’re absolutely right. I am a white person, and I  just feel so awful every time I hear about what my people are doing to  yours. We need to start fixing the problems in the black community.  After all, that’s what we do – go into other communities and solve their  problems!”
Ms. Black Nationalist Kook
“White  people are the worst! You’re absolutely right. I am sick and tired of  watching the white man destroy us. It’s time to rise up and take to the  streets. Until we show them that the black man is the original man, and  that white people are an ancient genetic experiment to create a human  being without a soul, we’ll never achieve true freedom.”
Mr. Bootstraps
“I’m  so sick and tired of people talking about ‘white privilege’. My father  was an immigrant from Switzerland, and he had to struggle just like  everyone else to make money. His life was tough – you call that  privilege? I didn’t get a handout from anyone, and neither should anyone  else!”
Ms. Interpretation
“Affirmative  action? Isn’t that just where white people aren’t allowed to have jobs  because they’re all saved for less-qualified minorities? That’s just  slavery but in the other direction – reverse slavery! My cousin knows a  guy whose brother didn’t get into his first-choice college, possibly  because of affirmative action – racism against white people is the  biggest problem nowadays!”
Mr. Conspiracy
“Of  course you’d say that – the NAACP has been pushing that lie since they  were formed! This whole ‘anti-racism’ thing is just a way of taking  white people’s hard-earned money and putting it into welfare programs  and health care. It’s how black people are planning on getting  reparations!”
Ms. Extraterrestrial
“You  monkeys are just mad that you’re genetically inferior to our master  race! Once our society, which was created by white people, shakes off  this liberal brainwashing, we’ll finally be able to send you animals  back to where you came from. Get over it – white people are just  superior!”
But I would be remiss and completely unfair if I didn’t mention…
Mr./Ms. Has Been Listening
“This  topic made me really uncomfortable when I first started talking about  it, but I’m glad I did. I’m not sure if I ‘get’ everything, but my  thinking has definitely changed. Here are some reasonable objections and  questions that I have, and I hope we can talk about them without  offending each other.”

    Mr. History

    “Black people were enslaved like a million years ago. They’ve had enough time to get their act together, but they’re still whining about their problems. I don’t want to hear about transgenerational wealth gaps and discriminatory hiring practices! Their problem is that they’re lazy! Case closed!”

    Ms. Kumbayah

    “We need to recognize that everyone is just the exact same on the inside. Why do we bother using labels like

    “black”

    and

    “white”

    anyway? Even though the way society treats people falls along racial lines to the detriment of some and benefit of others, we should ignore that! Aren’t we all just members of the human race?”

    Mr. Hear No Evil

    “It’s people like you that are the real racists! Most people don’t think twice about someone else’s race! Talking about race is what makes racism happen, not entrenched ideas that won’t change unless they’re discussed!”

    Ms. Myopia

    “I’m a black person, and I haven’t ever felt mistreated because of it. Therefore, nobody else has any business complaining about racism – I’m living proof that it doesn’t exist!”

     

    Mr. Funk & Wagnalls

    “Here is the dictionary definition of racism. You can see right here that it describes only one small subset of behaviour. You have no business advocating that the definition of a word change to fit a changed environment of racist behaviour, even if it still describes the old racism. You must adhere to this one definition always!”

    Ms. Minimizer

    “Sure, racism used to be a big problem, but there’s lots of black people in prominent positions these days. Can’t we stop talking about racism like it’s still a big issue? The President is black, and clearly nobody has any problem with that! Don’t we have more important things to talk about?”

    Mr. Liberal White Guilt

    “White people are the worst! You’re absolutely right. I am a white person, and I just feel so awful every time I hear about what my people are doing to yours. We need to start fixing the problems in the black community. After all, that’s what we do – go into other communities and solve their problems!”

    Ms. Black Nationalist Kook

    “White people are the worst! You’re absolutely right. I am sick and tired of watching the white man destroy us. It’s time to rise up and take to the streets. Until we show them that the black man is the original man, and that white people are an ancient genetic experiment to create a human being without a soul, we’ll never achieve true freedom.”

    Mr. Bootstraps

    “I’m so sick and tired of people talking about ‘white privilege’. My father was an immigrant from Switzerland, and he had to struggle just like everyone else to make money. His life was tough – you call that privilege? I didn’t get a handout from anyone, and neither should anyone else!”

    Ms. Interpretation

    “Affirmative action? Isn’t that just where white people aren’t allowed to have jobs because they’re all saved for less-qualified minorities? That’s just slavery but in the other direction – reverse slavery! My cousin knows a guy whose brother didn’t get into his first-choice college, possibly because of affirmative action – racism against white people is the biggest problem nowadays!”

    Mr. Conspiracy

    “Of course you’d say that – the NAACP has been pushing that lie since they were formed! This whole ‘anti-racism’ thing is just a way of taking white people’s hard-earned money and putting it into welfare programs and health care. It’s how black people are planning on getting reparations!”

    Ms. Extraterrestrial

    “You monkeys are just mad that you’re genetically inferior to our master race! Once our society, which was created by white people, shakes off this liberal brainwashing, we’ll finally be able to send you animals back to where you came from. Get over it – white people are just superior!”

    But I would be remiss and completely unfair if I didn’t mention…

    Mr./Ms. Has Been Listening

    “This topic made me really uncomfortable when I first started talking about it, but I’m glad I did. I’m not sure if I ‘get’ everything, but my thinking has definitely changed. Here are some reasonable objections and questions that I have, and I hope we can talk about them without offending each other.”

     
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      Love this post. Love everything about it.
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      Oh, honey, I think you’ll like this one.
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